Red pill, blue pill, deal or no deal...

Man, start of the work day and I feel like going to sleep already. There hasn't been much going on at work at present. Oh, today is also Jan's b'day so if you are reading this Janice, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Right, I've broken my routine a bit. Haven't put in my usual Sunday entry but I'll come to that shortly. I skipped Mass again this Sunday. Not that I feel very guilty about it. I find it difficult to buy into their Pollyanna. Spoke to my family over skype this weekend. They had just gotten back from yet another "badly organised" tour of the States. But it sounded like they had fun which is lovely. I guess complaining is a familial trait. Heh. I did my run and made it to Westfields shopping centre, (4.2km one way, 8.4km if you count the walk back), and am aiming to do one further each week. Was freezing cold and drizzling but I'm glad I finished it. I am getting fitter but I have also been drinking more. I just can't sleep at night and alcohol just helps me relax. Yeah, yeah, the lecture about alcoholism is bound to pop up but I'm not anywhere near there yet. There has been a lot on my mind (seems that there always is anyway) lately. I have been thinking of the mindless repetition of life and what I can do to break the cycle. See, it's like this... We're being offered a choice each day. Do you want the red pill or the blue pill? (Watch the first Matrix if you do not know what I'm getting at). It is playing "Deal or no deal", but only with your life. Offer: Stable job. It is "okay" but not what you REALLY wanted to do. Deal or no deal? Offer: Be part of the great National machinery. As long as you conform. Life will be comfortable but uninspiring. Deal or no deal? Offer: Compromise. Try to convince yourself that life is actually okay and be happy with whatever you have. Deal or no deal? I think I have always replied "no deal" to all of the above, though I believe lots of my friends have already accepted their deals. I feel if I could exchange my life with theirs I probably wouldn't. Well, I've got a few days over labour weekend to do this and I should plan what I want and then go for it... I'm currently putting my sketching on hold as I have embarked on a photoshop project. Almost done now, will post when it is polished. On another note, I heard from her again. It is nice to know someone is thinking of you though I'm not going to place much expectation on it. Quite honestly, it was nice. No posturing or hiding things. Just a simple "I care". I guess I will always have a soft spot for some people...sigh.