Letter to my future self

3am on a Monday morning and I am up to write something for my future self. It isn't because I'm kept up by something, but more that I dozed off on my chair earlier in the evening and unexpectedly awoke a few hours later.

I am not sure what to tell my future self but the persistent thought that come to mind is to stop beating yourself up about not being "good enough" because you are. Like anyone, you might not feel you are "good enough" when you compare yourself with others in certain aspects but dammit, I have little regret about how I have lived, and how I have spent my years.

The long and short of it is that I'm okay. I am enough and that forms a solid foundation for what I would like to do moving forward. Things like getting my new home ready, learning new skills at work, keeping in touch with friends and family, and keeping healthy physically and mentally. 

The other thought that loiters in the back of my mind and sometimes gnaws at it is that loneliness I sometimes feel because I do not have that someone special in my life. 20 years and it never happened and perhaps it is best that it stayed that way. All these years of life have informed me that it isn't necessarily better to be with someone else and when I look within, it might even be something I am not suitable for. Eh, no point worrying about what you can't have.