Relegation battle life

I am up at 0545 on a Sunday morning. That's how fucked it is now. You can struggle your whole year and still expect to lose. Which is exactly what has happened to me now. I spent a year working my ass off in NZ and had little to show for it. I left a lot behind going there and took almost nothing back. Do I make the worst choices around? Do I need to choose to do this? I sometimes wonder. I live a relegation battle life. I work for a relegation battle industry. I an entangled in a relegation battle relationship. It has become really pathetic. I was thinking of seeing a shrink but surprise, surprise, I don't have the dough to. Pitiful. Where a 0-0 draw is considered something to be proud of and when a drubbing comes, just turtle in and hope life will stop kicking sand in my face. Maybe I should set myself a time tomorrow to do some reflection. No, not maybe. I must. Before I get caught up in mindless routine, I must do a plan for a least till March. It is long overdue.