Snails on Friday evening

Friday started normal (i.e. slow and routine) and I was waiting to see if she would call me. Actually, it is more accurate to say that I expected that she wouldn't call but I had hoped that she would. Being really bored at home, I had decided to go out in the evening. Just to change my environment a bit, maybe grab a copy of Imagine FX along the way. At that time I still hadn't heard from her. Since I didn't want to just sulk the evening away alone, I decided to invite her to dinner. Initially she declined because she got grilled at work and was staying back. So I thought I should just continue with the loner's evening plan. Along my MRT journey to town, I got concerned for her as the tone of her message didn't sound too happy about her job. Decided to get her some doughnuts to cheer her up. Was also worried that she was skipping dinner to work. I had just intended to pass the doughnuts to her and then make myself scarce. Well, in the end we met up, had a lovely dinner in a French-Japanese restaurant. Had Beef ommelette rice and some escargots. Then we walked to Dhoby Ghaut MRT and I held her hand along the way. She didn't resist but at the same time, she did not grip my hand back. I knew she was going to meet her boyfriend at Dhoby Ghaut. Damn, this is really screwed up. I decided to follow the love in my heart for a few hours and then I am stuck in this muddledly frustration relationship dynamic. My rational side tells me to let it go and walk away. My heart? My damn heart just wants what it wants. What am I to do?