Relax once in a while, but do keep track

I've really been slacking these few days. Have been doing a little here and there in preparation for my trip back to NZ but still, I feel damn unprepared. Still, I've one week left to really get unfinished business done. I have to overcome these lethargic feelings and really have some discipline to sit down and resolve the many issues of life, both short term and long. Honestly, apart from the routine boredom (during working hours, where all your peers are working and you're not), this week was fun. I met up with Bambang (my ACJC friend) on Wednesday and had some food at his cafe in "fusionopolis", this new building around my old home, Dover Road. He gave me a ride down to Peninsula Plaza, where I got my suit done. Yep, a sweet $300 gone but it is a long term investment. Don't look sloppy during interviews ya? But it does work. If you look good, you feel good and act confidently. Critics would say that this is superficial but hey, a lot of judgements are based on appearances annit? Ended the day with a lovely dinner with my sis and Uncle Mike at Soup Kitchen restaurant. On Thursday, I met up with JHP and Philip at Ma Maison for dinner. Was so so only. I actually didn't want to go there as it brought back memories of her. The last time I was at Ma Maison was with her. Oh well, that was a pretty short evening though. I am glad to spend time with my friends. And I have very good friends. Despite my flaws, they don't judge me and I feel totally at ease with them. JHP's wifey, Shirley was there too. I may be interpreting too much into it but I think JHP was hoping for a boys night out. Heh. JHP is looking to go into teaching by the way. Friday! The loveliest day of the week. Met Lishan for dinner as Waraku restaurant at Central. The meal portions were huge! Well, it was value for money. A Valentine's Day promotion strangely. Lishan is doing well. She seems to have everything planned out nicely and I am happy for her. And she was nice enough to buy me dinner. See, I have very good friends. Then when dinner was done, I went to this place at Princep to have a drink with JHP and Philip. No interference from wifey this time heh. We had a good chat. Felt like the beer girls had too little to do. They kept around our table way too often. Filling the beers, clearing the plates etc. Didn't mind that too much. Rather, I was strangely amused. Or just drunk. Earlier on Friday I did get msned by her. She proposed that we meet up next week. This brought me lots of mixed feelings. Am I happy? Sad? Angry? Indifferent? Bitter? Perhaps all of it in one messed up emotional cocktail. I had intended to leave without saying goodbye. Do I still love her? Yes, that much I can say in certainty. So why am I leaving without goodbye? I remember the story of Solomon being a judge for two women fighting for a baby. Since both had equal claim, Solomon proposed the baby be cut into half so that each woman could have half each. The woman who loved the child more gave up the baby to the other woman so that the baby would not be harmed. I suppose I am doing a bit of the same. I'm not noble by any means. I'm just doing what I feel is right. So before this becomes a rambling rant, let's cut to the next part... I realize I do this quite frequently; write the title of the topic I want to write and then drift into other things that just stream into my mind. I had wanted to write about how it was critical for me to have some focus in getting things done rather than fall asleep in vain hope of staving off a bad mood (and I have LOTS of these). Well, now that we have talked about that, perhaps we should lay this entry to rest.