Distressed in waiting

Really feeling burdened at this point of time. Brief assessment of the situation; Jobless in a foreign place without ANY network that I can lean on. I'm feeling the pressure of expectation but I don't know how it is all going to turn up. I had no interviews as yet and several rejections and there is this lingering hopelessness around. It's like lottery in terms of the odds, yet without the joyful hope of a really awesome windfall. I think patience is needed here but how do I account to my parents? Each day I don't get a job, my mum doesn't sleep because of worry. It's okay that I don't sleep but then again I feel that in my current circumstances, I'm mostly left to fate. I tried to get a better financial understanding and it was a humbling experience as to how little I know. I did sign up for Kiwisaver and I think I have a much better idea of what needs to be done now. I still have this lingering problem of broken communication; broken communication with my Uncle Mike and his family. I don't think it is easy talking to them at all. Each time I feel that I need to leverage on family ties just to ask for something. That is what happens when there is little love in the relationship. I used to sincerely love each one of them and hang out with them during the holidays. We had so much fun then and this still remains a pillar of my childhood happiness. I lost them when they left for New Zealand. I guess I am a sentimental fool chasing after old ghosts. Today's devotional reading talks about waiting. I just copied and pasted the whole damn thing below... "If you had to wait a long time for something, even for something important, would you have the patience of Abraham and Sarah?

When Abraham was seventy-five years old, God first promised to make a great nation spring from him, even though he was childless (Genesis 12:1-4). Now Abraham is ninety-nine, Sarah is ninety, and God is telling them to get ready! Then, at just the right time, Isaac is born, and from him and his descendants come God’s chosen people, Israel.

Some waiting is filled with eager expectation, like anticipating the visit of a close friend after many years’ absence. However, having to wait for something that we really want can be distressing, especially if we’re uncertain if or when it will happen. We may grow restless, anxious, and doubtful, or feel trapped and impatient. But when we let these feelings get the better of us, we’re like a bird that madly hurls itself against the bars of its cage—we only make the problem worse.

Waiting on the Lord isn’t supposed to be an exercise in frustration; it’s an opportunity to exercise our faith! Take Abraham as your model. Abraham put his trust in God and saw beyond his circumstances, believing that God could accomplish whatever he promised. We have inherited that promise, which God fulfilled for us by raising his only Son from the dead. Nothing is impossible for him. But as Abraham’s story shows, sometimes the impossible takes a bit longer!

What are you waiting for right now? Perhaps you’ve been praying for someone who is in a desperate situation with health or finances, or perhaps you are in such a situation yourself. Perhaps you’ve been praying for the conversion of someone who is far from God. If you have done what you can, trust God to do the rest! You may not see what you’re looking for right away, but that doesn’t mean that God has abandoned you. He is at work even now, forming you more deeply during this time of waiting. He knows what is best for you. Abraham and Sarah are proof that no matter how long you have to wait, God’s time is always the appointed time!

“Faithful God, forgive my impatience and my lack of trust. Help me to rest securely in your plan and to wait with expectant faith for whatever you bring me.”

Psalm 105:4-9; John 8:51-59"

You see, the problem is that I don't even know what God has promised me.