Mind? Check. Body? Check. Heart? Heart???

I admit it. These past 2 days I haven't been having a good mood. Been asking myself a lot of questions of which I have no answers for. I suppose confidence is built upon the feeling of victory. It is the knowledge that you get when you overcome your obstacles and win. Win. God, I miss that feeling. It's been very long since I had a victory to celebrate. Conversely, I have had much losses to rue over my last 2 years. Everything I worked hard for and placed huge importance on in my life had somehow collapsed. That really uprooted the foundations of my confidence. I'm begining to adopt a life (not sure if it qualifies as one) on auto-pilot; eat, sleep, shit, work, rest, exercise and then repeat. My mind is there. My body is moving. My heart, however, is conspicuously missing. I used to get a feeling of happiness when I created something and was proud of it. Now, I tend to be hyper-critical of everything I do and feel very discouraged by it. Was different back when I was in school. I used to love sketching then, creating wonderful constructs in my mind. When the exam stress got to me, I would retreat to my A4 drawing pad and start drawing. Life meant something when I was doing that. I still cherish the one I did in Junior College; the one with all the Marvel Characters on them. I had the same eager excitement when I did some of my design projects in university and also when I did my animation in Southern Star. I believe it was when I moved to New Zealand that the feeling of confidence and inpiration actually left me. It just doesn't thrill me anymore. Nothing does. Crisis? Nah. Some people have it far worse these days. Suicidal? Nope. Just frustrated that I can't seem to get away from this auto-pilot existence. I haven't any good ideas as of how to do this. I think the best thing for me to do is to just keep taking the opportunities along this path and hope for a lucky break. It is however, so difficult to be purposeful if you don't believe in anything anymore...