Sleepy Monday

Sleepy. Dragged my ass to work and am still in a semi-coma. Stayed up late to play Metal Gear 4: Guns of the Patriots and am pretty much a zombie today. Man, that is a great game. Sheer masterpiece. I wondered if it was going to be any good as it has been released for a long time now (2 years?). Well, played it and the verdict is that it is mind-blowing even compared to recent releases. Heck, I think it is a masterpiece and is something to aspire to. The design is wow. The gameplay is wow. The story is wow. Am really inspired now. If I can only turn my daydreams into reality... Yeah, on the part about turning dreams into reality, I have really got to work at it. I have stopped beating myself up over my past failures and have started to get excited over new projects. This is all very positive, considering that I kind of gave up on myself for about a year now. I had no hopes, no direction and was basically wallowing in self-doubt and depression day after day. I realized that you can't trade your dreams away for bread. Not after you have touched it. For those of you who don't know what I want to do in life, it is this; I want to create something for the world to enjoy, much like how Hideo Kojima gave us the Metal Gear series. There is still so much doubt and uncertainty as to whether I will succeed or not. Ever so often have I hit a dead-end and have to start again. My parents will probably tell me to quit dreaming at 30 and settle on a real career. But as much as it is seem like it is a little late to be experimenting, the fact is that life isn't linear. It doesn't mean that if you draw a five-figure salary now, you have made it in life forever. Similarly, it doesn't mean that if you are stuck in a rut now, you'll continue to do so forever. It would not be easy to get there but this is the idea of momentum. Do a bit each day until you gain enough speed and then it'll be a cruise. So tonight, I plan to have my base mesh out. It isn't much. But now that I have some really good learning material, I hope I can bring my projects to a good finish. I'll put in at least 1hr for this every other day. Sounds little but I am past empty promises of I will get X done in X time and then give up because my expectations were deluded... Back to work now. That's a yawn.