Being a Scanner

I feel very trapped. I'm on a holiday and there are still people bothering me. Bothering me about work, what time I sleep, how long I spend on the computer, whether I am meeting too many of my friends... Ah fuck! I need to recharge my batteries after being battered for the whole of 2010 and it doesn't look like I am able to do it. While it was nice to have a change to be back home initially, I find myself very bored now. What started out as "free accommodation" has ended up as just another intrusive hostel nightmare; the type where you have to share a room with 3 other people constantly intruding on your privacy. Home no longer feels as such. I want a total break from it all. No little chores around the house. Nobody disturbing me for work. I really need this break to galavnize me, to charge me up for the rest of the year. Why can't anyone understand and respect my break? At least I am feeling I am getting somewhere with my planning. It fels good to plan again. I used to plan a lot. That' life annit? Get the plan going and when it gets stuck, plan to get it unstuck and go again. That was until all my plans came undone. There is this feeling of futility now. Like there is much beyond our control and that seems to be fated and cannot be changed. I guess my closest friends will know I kinda drifted through 2010 and "let it happen to me". So now it feels right to be planning again. It means I am ready to take back responsibility and control of my life and that is an empowering thought. I have started a little black notebook that I take everywhere (almost), just so as to capture the lessons I learn from books and also to jot down whatever good ideas that flash past. Am reading this book called "Screw Work. Let's Play" and it seems to be written for someone like me. I never came across the concept of a Scanner before but I think that is what I am. Are you a Scanner?:

1. Are you interested in lots of different, and seemingly unrelated things? (Yes)
2. Are you fascinated by something different every week? (No. But I am easily bored of something that may have been "wow" last week)
3. Does the thought of concentrating on one topic, skill or job for very long horrify you? (Yes. That is exactly why I turned down my chance to be the assistant lead animator at Southern Star. I didn't want to specialize)
4. Do you start lots of projects but move on before you finish them? (Yes. Very guilty as charged.)

So there you have it. Leonardo da Vinci was a scanner too. Not bad company to be in.