Expectations

Today, the sun is up and skies are clear blue. This is a welcome break from the freezing cold that hit on Monday. I am looking forward to the long weekend. We have the Monday off too in NZ (unlike Singapore) and that is just beautiful. My parents will be coming to visit me this weekend too and I guess it is good to have them around, though I would have to sacrifice a bit of my independence. Still, it is a lovely day today; sun is shining, work isn't too stressful and hey, I'm typing my blog during work hours and totally relaxed about it. =) Quite frankly, I started this post today without much of an agenda. I am just quite happy to be doing it and quite happy to just let whatever comes into my mind come out. Something that intrigued me was the story that Janice posted on her blog about a friend who is considering divorce after only 6 months of marriage. Her husband's apparent failings:

1. In Macau, he continues to play roulette when his wife is being harassed by 8 Chinamen.
2. In Las vegas, he didn't contribute much to the planning of their honeymoon there...

Well, I wouldn't be surprised if their next big blow-out will happen in Monte Carlo but I digress. I have already been too much of a busybody commenting on people I do not even know. It is however, quite interesting to have a woman's perspective on what exactly a man should be. Quoting Jan's post: "Women expect their men to be just three things - a good lover, provider and protector." Wow. That is about being as specific as saying all of mankind's problems can be attributted to health, wealth and relationships. Let's break it down:

1. Good lover - Gee, where do I even start? Remembers birthdays/anniversaries? Good in bed? Attentive? Does it make me a bad lover if I don't mow the lawn?
2. Provider - Again, what is a man expected to provide? Basic necessities? Unlimited credit line? Emotional support? Financial? Aren't we in an age of equal rights and responsibilities?
3. Protector - Do I need to become Conan the Barbarian or Ip Man (fight 10 men at once)?

And that is JUST three things. No wonder the modern marriage is challenging; lots of seemingly simple expectations built around vague guidelines. What I am trying to say is that almost all men and women will fail if the goalposts are continuously shifting and if expectations are ill-defined. And we cannot really define our expectations, can we? If all that is left in a relationship is compromise and/or disappointment, then what point is there in being in a relationship anyway?