Sigh. The good old days are gone.

This has been a common occurrence for me these days; I leave the title of the blog post blank, write my post, read it and then give it a title afterwards. Guess that is a reflection of my life now. Life. I hate the word. The only time people think about "life" is when it isn't going well. People are happy living it don't think about it ever. They are too busy living it and enjoying it. Well, I can't say life is horrible for me now. It is just that there is something inside me that doesn't feel right. This void and numbness that makes life tiring. I have lost a lot of resolve and the corresponding motivation that will help me break through this hum-drum go-through-motions existence. Perhaps it was easier 5 years ago. Younger and more foolish. I didn't know my limitations and just did what I wanted to. As I see it now, I am starting to see the limitations and struggling to come to terms with it. Perhaps it is just a phase in life I suppose. Phase one: Too foolish to know better and will try anything without counting the cost. Phase two: Know the costs and become (overly?) cautious because any decisions made now will have a lasting impact on life. As age catches up with you, so do options. Phase three: Accept limitations and found a way to work around them. Phase four: Mastered limitations but finding new ways to improve is so difficult. You have known all there is to know and the only way to move forward is to discover a new revelation. Ah, enough of the philosophies now eh? I sound like an old man now. Feel like one too. I watched Captain America this weekend. I enjoyed it a lot even though I had to watch it alone. I thought Fabs would watch it with me but things change when your friends have kids. Now it is like he is under house arrest and can only go to work and go home. But back to Captain America. Cap is a man out of time and I could really relate to that. What happened to us now? What happened to real men like Clint Eastwood and Sean Connery? Now we have the likes of David Beckham and Justin Bieber? Metrosexual? Why don't you just call yourselves gay? Now it is "lifestyle choices" and emo teenagers. I remember the good old 80's, whereby we weren't prostituting our lands to "foreign talents". It was an exciting time to be in and it was a time I really liked my neighbours. Whereby once it was common decency to respect each other, now it is just pure selfishness and indifference. The common moral standard of our collective is as stretchy as a rubber band. And America. The world's foremost superpower. There once was a time whereby they fought just wars and were an inspiration to the world. I used to draw American flags on my jeeps as a kid. Now? The are a shadow of their former greatness. Saddled in debt while they fall into economic collapse. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Still, on the bright side, I had two good ideas this weekend that really got me excited working on them. Ah, but for now, it is back to the grind. Back to the "put-food-on-table" job. Sigh. At least we have a real man in Prince William. Sadly, he is going bald.