Getting old

Been so long since I posted... I guess work has been quite a waking nightmare that it has worn me out. It is kinda like having a difficult day at work and not wanting to talk about it when I get home. Except that this has gone on for months and even years without improving. I feel old too. Like I should be somewhere more than what I am now. Regardless, I think I keep enough of my sanity to carry on. It hasn't been all bad. Living alone in a nice, clean (not crowded) country gives you bounds of freedom. Do everything on your own whim, not having to get along with anyone (family/room mates)... But there does seem that my life does lack a bit of purpose. It is just one of those phases in life where you survive and do okay but not really enjoy the full measure of life. Of course my life isn't so unpleasant that I am merely sustaining my mortal shell; I do get moments that I feel alive, feel inspired, feel needed. Still, I'm not at where I want to be - which is to feel excited and energized each morning I get out of bed.