Being "different" - Talking myself out of trouble.

Right... I'm in a bit of a down mood today. Just quit my job to focus on my zbrush course and yeah, so now I'm jobless. I know I should keep positive but it isn't as easy as I'd like it to be. I have tried to keep my own pace in rough rivers and used to think that if I kept pushing, I'd get there eventually. I tell myself that at least I have no regrets - I have tried things that I thought were worth trying and done things that felt right to me. I look into myself and wonder if this is foolish pride talking, like someone deluding him/herself as a form of putting themselves down gently. And no, I would not have done very much different if I were able to turn back time. I just wished some results had gone my way. Ah, no point crying for the past...

I ought to be harder on myself in some ways and kinder to myself in others. Here is some advice I'd give myself:

Harder:

1. Don't allow sadness to knock off more than a day of time. Even NBA superstars have had bad shooting nights - Anyone remember MJ scoring just 6 points? He did. But then he scored a whopping 51 on the next. Be mindful of how you are feeling. Be patient and spend time planning - work your way out of the tangle by taking a step at the time. Do something, do anything (even small) that builds up your dream. DON"T SKIP PRACTICE just because your jump shot isn't going in today.
2. Learn to work tired. 32 years old now and you should know that life ain't a cake walk. Learning to work tired makes you think more deeply about how you can spend "down time" more effectively. 
3. Change yourself. Instead of saying "Why can't this-and that go my way?", say "What can I do to make this work?"

Kinder:

1. Give yourself time to succeed.  You have the right ideas and so far, you have invested and built yourself into someone you wanted to be. You didn't sell out your dreams to a corporation, nor did compromise on a damaging relationship just because you felt lonely. The furnace takes time to forge and time to cool but after it all, a diamond emerges.
2. Don't envy people who have things you don't. You have things they don't and the grass is always greener on the other side. People are well intentioned but they do not know you. Only you know you. It is true that you can learn to improve many aspects of your life but this doesn't mean that your life isn't good to begin with. Some people will indeed envy your freedom, your time to pursue your craft and compete for the things life has to offer.
3. Be proud to be different. Society dislikes non-conformity because this is the way they want everyone to behave. The pressure to conform is great. But you have been different all your life and you are still here - thriving.

And as easy as that, I find myself breathing a bit easier and being a lot more hopeful. I am looking forward to class tonight and am happy to have come far. Smile. =)