Hesitation and procrastination

I deal with this all the time. Hesitation and procrastination. And right now, I am doing both. I had "planned" to look at the job market today but have just popped in and out of jobstreet. Filtering out all the jobs that meant "giving up the last of the best years of my life to a greedy capitalist", I am left with little options. It will come, I say. After all one of my New Year goals is to be more hopeful. The reason why success is so elusive is that failures condition you to think in a certain way. The fighter who never lost probably thinks he is invincible. Then he fights more, meets tougher opponents, and then maybe loses a few fights. He is in denial. He talks to himself that he was just "off-form", that he is okay just training the way he is. He goes back into the ring, fights a few more bouts, then WHAM! Someone knocks him out and puts him on the canvas. This is his first great defeat. The devastating loss makes him question himself. Am I cut out to be a fighter? Should I just be a trainer? Maybe the best is over? Doubt seeps into his mind and he is never the same again. He doesn't put his all into his punches, fearing always the knockout counter-punch that had put him on his ass. His usual confidence gives way to the burden of fear and perhaps, he stops winning as much because he doesn't give his all. He doesn't lose less either because he just loses differently - No KOs but by decision or by TKO. He hasn't landed enough punches to win...

So what am I trying to say? This story is extremely apt in describing myself. I would most definitely not want to be defined by failure but at the same time, failure is constantly at the back of my mind. The fact is that what I need to do, is focus on the fundamentals, get them right, and then build upon them. This is the what I want to do. It is a privilege to do it and I must try my best to be worthy of this privilege. To put it simply: 1) Know that you are good 2) Show that you are good 3) Do everything you can to remain good. Pace yourself. And don't hold yourself back. There are plenty of people who have the courage to start anew and succeed. I can too.