The Good, bad, and ugly

What should I write here today? My thoughts are running all over the place. I'm finding it hard to appreciate the nice things in life that happened to me, and instead, am becoming unfocused on the negative side of things. Maybe I'll just pop them down so it will be easier to read...

Good stuff that happened to me this week

• I had a dinner voucher to treat my family to a meal at Jack's Place
• I had 2 good gatherings where I met up with my SP friends
• I enjoyed a movie with my best friend
• I got an opportunity to move forward on something that I felt I was able to contribute towards (teach 3D)
• I didn't have to pay a ton at the Polyclinic and the service was good
• My parents helped me with my part of the weekly chores because I was down with eczema

 And the bad

• The eczema is getting worse. I had to visit the doctors to get it sorted out
• I still worry about getting a job. I am doing my best but still, I am faced with a lot of self-doubt and constant attacks on my self-worth
• I'm getting fat. Eczema keeps me from doing exercise and weight tends to pile on.
• I want to buy new clothes but sigh... It isn't the time because no money is coming in
• I am putting off paying bills because it doesn't feel good to just keep leaking money. I have the money but I just loathe to spend it without making any more
• I feel my self-worth eroding due to the caustic remarks and negativity projected by my mother. I cannot really avoid it and that really sucks

Conclusion?

Well, the conclusion is this. Having friends around is important. Meeting up with my friends does give me the time and space to find some shelter in a dark place of my life. The positives are that you still have friends and family that support and root for you. The negative comes from one big demon in your life - UNEMPLOYMENT. Even the body is showing signs of breakdown because of this. Not to mention the mental stress and general negativity of it all. But there is nothing to do but to hope and fight. Back against the wall now, what are you made of?