Solitude - The next best place

I spent today doing nothing much at all. I played a level of Doom Eternal, attended an online meeting, cleaned up a little, finished up my bunny artwork and watched cut scenes from God of War Ragnarok. I still carry that little sadness in my heart - one that doesn't make any sense rationally but it still gnaws at me emotionally. I bury my feelings. I play my role in the great pretend of life. Nobody knows. And that is how I like it to be. I write here because nobody reads this. Nobody but me. I had a beer before I came here. It helps me to sleep. 40 plus years on this planet and I guess my life has been okay. But maybe that is my problem; it is only "okay" and maybe it won't ever be something I wake up being excited about. I still long for the the day where I will be accepted for who I am, to become the best person I could be. I yearn for a place to belong and I find none. Perhaps then, the next best place is solitude.