You cannot change or control what is already there, but you can change and control the way you react to it

 

Why am I here today? What should I write? I woke up still a little tired. I had a dream last night. I was excited to go for a date and when it was time to leave, I could not find my shoes. My mother had packed ALL of them into random boxes and there was no easy way to find them. The dream was very real to me because this was something my mother is likely to do in reality. But this isn't the real reason I'm here. Or maybe it is. One of the myriad of troubles bothering me.

I keep having all these negative thoughts bothering me. They gnaw at me throughout the day, distract me, and drain my energy. Is my life bad? Does it stink? Are you a total failure? No. And here is the kicker - But it COULD be. And here is the paranoia. I'm not comfortable where I am. I am still developing. Growing if you want to put a positive spin on it. I tell myself little things that I can do to keep myself going. Things such as 3Ps - Be Poised, Professional, and Positive. That I should perhaps get some ideas for managing burnout. That I should have greater fighting spirit. That perhaps I should break things into parts (if the task seems to daunting) and then focus it into 1 hour pieces.

Like the great Stoics say, you cannot change or control what is already there, but you can change and control the way you react to it. That is great advice. How to do it is another thing entirely.

Lastly, why are the Legos here? I suppose I wanted some pictures of them here so I can look at them and smile. It is something that I stopped doing. I am somewhat happy that I starting my creative work again over the weekend. I'm happy to have that going.