Choose your own adventure
Remember those books from childhood where you could choose how the story evolved based on your choices? My life feels like one now and I have gone into a mode of heavy self reflection in these few lean months. So let's start the story:
1. Health
Past: Generally blessed with good health. Never entered a hospital. Have gone through alternating phases of normal weight to over weight. 0-8 = Normal. 8-14 = Over. 14-28 = Normal. 29-35 = Over. Developed eczema when turned 30. Significant loss of energy and metabolism. Melancholic mood throughout life. Prone to depression.
Present: Still overweight. Targeting to reduce to 68kg (- 4kg). Working on 30 day challenge (Squats, push-ups, planks and crunches + runs). So far so good. Need to maintain. Need to reduce carbohydrate intake due to lower metabolic rate.
Future A: Got lazy. Indulged too much for the moment. Gave into temptation every damn time. Went back to work - No time for activity. Gained 1 kg each year. Eventually got a stroke and/or heart problems. Fat and poor health. Have not added any photos to facebook in ages as everyone looks better.
Future B: Disciplined. Continued running and gradual reduction of food intake. Lighter, fitter, with more energy. No longer a victim. In control. Not afraid to be seen in public.
2. Work/Occupation
Past: Graduated from a course that made success difficult. Weak fundamentals and poor knowledge of market made it difficult to get a job. Eventually got one at Southern Star. Was happy, confident, and determined to succeed. Made a lot of friends. Other than the low financial earnings, this was the best job for me so far. Went to NZ later to work for Huhu Studios. Let go after a year. This was a terrible time for me. Sat on a chair too high. Should have pursued a few more years of fundamental skill as a 3D artist. I did have a chance to work in an international studio though... And this led to "the experiment". Here, I worked in a wholesale health distributor (Creative Energy) to understand how businesses work. It was also an experiment to see if I could be happy working in a day job and doing my hobby at the side. Ended up in spectacular failure. I couldn't stand it and realized that I didn't give a shit about vitamins. At least I did some digital paintings but that didn't help a lot. Eventually, I returned to Singapore, did a Zbrush course (loved it!) and found a job with Digital Mirage doing architectural renderings. I thought it gave me a chance to do creative work and also meet new and interesting people. Well, all that did happen but project management turned out to be more ass-covering and hand-holding than I liked. Eventually, I burned out and the boss just let me go. Tragic Bronson.
Present: I am still looking for a job that I would love. This job should allow me to keep myself alive, have a little left for savings and the occasional indulgence (Legos!). It should also excite me and help me grow better and more independent. Currently, I think I have reached some level of quality with Project Ebon-knee. I've just got to get my work out there before I can show the world all the other great stuff that is still dormant in my mind.
Future A: I settled. I took a job which I did not care much about but could get. In a year's time, I am out of a job again. This time I am more desperate because of my age. I look back and wonder why I was not brave enough to try. Why did I not approach it wisely? I am financially insecure and discouraged. This is because I did not focus on building a second income stream. I used "tired" as an excuse. Gave whatever remained of my best years to some fucktard of a boss.
Future B: I persisted. Despite being hungry and poor, I refused to compromise on my principles. I found a job that I absolutely loved and thrived in. And it opened up infinitely more doors for me. I strengthened my own fundamentals, getting faster and better at expressing my ideas. I had the counsel of other champions of the industry - people who knew how it worked. I grew financially secure. I became a well spring in the desert, giving the world one great idea after another. In time, I inspired others to do the same. I was good. And I was recognized for it. I remained humble and remembered my trials - I helped others who had the same aspirations succeed. And yes, I am in control.
3. Family, friends and relationships
Past: Family is great and supportive to me. Sometimes drive me nuts but I am blessed to have them. I'm also happy to have made the friends I have had along the way and I am proud that I had at least one great friend in every station of my career. Relationships... well I have difficulty getting close to people. A lot of people misunderstand me but that is fine by me.
Present: Family is still here with me. Friends have come and go and perhaps drifted because we have pursued such different paths. Frankly, I'm sick of being the last in class, the bottom-feeder, the idealist who can't get his act together. I haven't had much social after returning from NZ but I will make it a point to connect with my friends as much as possible. I still don't have that special someone in my life but at this point of my life, it is fine.
Future A: I hid myself. I didn't let my family and friends know that I cared for them. I was too self-conscious. Eventually, I ended up being ashamed of myself. No meaningful relationships. Not even a dog.
Future B: I communicated better. I maintained my contacts and friends. I made it a point to connect with them once in a while. I joined new groups that interested me. Made it a point for them to feel important. Eventually I had enough friends and I even have a dog. Life is good.
CHOOSE WELL.
1. Health
Past: Generally blessed with good health. Never entered a hospital. Have gone through alternating phases of normal weight to over weight. 0-8 = Normal. 8-14 = Over. 14-28 = Normal. 29-35 = Over. Developed eczema when turned 30. Significant loss of energy and metabolism. Melancholic mood throughout life. Prone to depression.
Present: Still overweight. Targeting to reduce to 68kg (- 4kg). Working on 30 day challenge (Squats, push-ups, planks and crunches + runs). So far so good. Need to maintain. Need to reduce carbohydrate intake due to lower metabolic rate.
Future A: Got lazy. Indulged too much for the moment. Gave into temptation every damn time. Went back to work - No time for activity. Gained 1 kg each year. Eventually got a stroke and/or heart problems. Fat and poor health. Have not added any photos to facebook in ages as everyone looks better.
Future B: Disciplined. Continued running and gradual reduction of food intake. Lighter, fitter, with more energy. No longer a victim. In control. Not afraid to be seen in public.
2. Work/Occupation
Past: Graduated from a course that made success difficult. Weak fundamentals and poor knowledge of market made it difficult to get a job. Eventually got one at Southern Star. Was happy, confident, and determined to succeed. Made a lot of friends. Other than the low financial earnings, this was the best job for me so far. Went to NZ later to work for Huhu Studios. Let go after a year. This was a terrible time for me. Sat on a chair too high. Should have pursued a few more years of fundamental skill as a 3D artist. I did have a chance to work in an international studio though... And this led to "the experiment". Here, I worked in a wholesale health distributor (Creative Energy) to understand how businesses work. It was also an experiment to see if I could be happy working in a day job and doing my hobby at the side. Ended up in spectacular failure. I couldn't stand it and realized that I didn't give a shit about vitamins. At least I did some digital paintings but that didn't help a lot. Eventually, I returned to Singapore, did a Zbrush course (loved it!) and found a job with Digital Mirage doing architectural renderings. I thought it gave me a chance to do creative work and also meet new and interesting people. Well, all that did happen but project management turned out to be more ass-covering and hand-holding than I liked. Eventually, I burned out and the boss just let me go. Tragic Bronson.
Present: I am still looking for a job that I would love. This job should allow me to keep myself alive, have a little left for savings and the occasional indulgence (Legos!). It should also excite me and help me grow better and more independent. Currently, I think I have reached some level of quality with Project Ebon-knee. I've just got to get my work out there before I can show the world all the other great stuff that is still dormant in my mind.
Future A: I settled. I took a job which I did not care much about but could get. In a year's time, I am out of a job again. This time I am more desperate because of my age. I look back and wonder why I was not brave enough to try. Why did I not approach it wisely? I am financially insecure and discouraged. This is because I did not focus on building a second income stream. I used "tired" as an excuse. Gave whatever remained of my best years to some fucktard of a boss.
Future B: I persisted. Despite being hungry and poor, I refused to compromise on my principles. I found a job that I absolutely loved and thrived in. And it opened up infinitely more doors for me. I strengthened my own fundamentals, getting faster and better at expressing my ideas. I had the counsel of other champions of the industry - people who knew how it worked. I grew financially secure. I became a well spring in the desert, giving the world one great idea after another. In time, I inspired others to do the same. I was good. And I was recognized for it. I remained humble and remembered my trials - I helped others who had the same aspirations succeed. And yes, I am in control.
3. Family, friends and relationships
Past: Family is great and supportive to me. Sometimes drive me nuts but I am blessed to have them. I'm also happy to have made the friends I have had along the way and I am proud that I had at least one great friend in every station of my career. Relationships... well I have difficulty getting close to people. A lot of people misunderstand me but that is fine by me.
Present: Family is still here with me. Friends have come and go and perhaps drifted because we have pursued such different paths. Frankly, I'm sick of being the last in class, the bottom-feeder, the idealist who can't get his act together. I haven't had much social after returning from NZ but I will make it a point to connect with my friends as much as possible. I still don't have that special someone in my life but at this point of my life, it is fine.
Future A: I hid myself. I didn't let my family and friends know that I cared for them. I was too self-conscious. Eventually, I ended up being ashamed of myself. No meaningful relationships. Not even a dog.
Future B: I communicated better. I maintained my contacts and friends. I made it a point to connect with them once in a while. I joined new groups that interested me. Made it a point for them to feel important. Eventually I had enough friends and I even have a dog. Life is good.
CHOOSE WELL.
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